Ariane Beeston
Author
New Release
Because I'm Not Myself, You See
(Black Inc, May 2024)
Ariane is a child protection worker and newly registered psychologist when she gives birth to her first child – and very quickly begins to experience scary breaks with reality. Out of fear and shame, she keeps her delusions and hallucinations secret, but as the months pass Ariane gets worse. Much worse. Finally admitted to a mother and baby psychiatric unit, the psychologist is forced to learn how to be the patient.
With medication, the support of her husband, psychotherapy and, ultimately, time, Ariane rebuilds herself. And she also begins a new chapter working in perinatal mental health, developing resources to support other new mothers.
Because I'm Not Myself, You See is a candid, often humorous memoir of motherhood and madness, interwoven with research and expert commentary. It's the story of the impossible pressures placed on new mothers and how quickly things can go wrong during 'the happiest time of your life'. It's also about life on the other side of serious illness, trying to make sense of what doesn't make sense, and finding humour, beauty and joy when things don't go according to plan.
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‘Both riveting and informative, this is an unflinching look at what it is like from inside postpartum psychosis. Writing with insight and compassion, Beeston weaves in research on perinatal mental health and society's attitudes to motherhood alongside her own (impossible) determination to be the perfect mother.’
Anne Buist, Professor of Women’s Mental Health, University of Melbourne, and co-author with Graeme Simsion of The Glass House
Praise & Reviews
‘Ariane Beeston's honesty, poetry and wisdom will save lives. This book is a vital contribution to a reality of some motherhoods that is so often overlooked in favour of stigma, shame and misunderstanding. With insights like Beeston's, we stand some chance of shifting the conversation around psychosis and recovery.’
Anna Spargo-Ryan, author of A Kind of Magic
‘Blistering, beautiful, true: Ariane Beeston exposes the myth of new motherhood as a loved-up dream, revealing how the transition to motherhood is sometimes a perilous one, and love for our babies hard-won. Written with a careful brilliance, it makes a case against secrecy and shame, and advocates for honesty, empathy and love.’
Susan Johnson, author of From Where I Fell and Aphrodite's Breath
About Ariane
Ariane Beeston is a former child protection caseworker and psychologist with NSW's Department of Communities and Justice. She was a staff writer at Fairfax Media's Essential Baby and Essential Kids and has also published articles in The Sydney Morning Herald, Daily Life, Babyology and Mamamia. Ariane currently works for Australia's peak body in perinatal mental health, The Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE).